108 Degrees

We broke records here in Vegas yesterday at 108 degrees. Man it's too early for that heat. Good thing a front is suppose to blow through tonight so it will be 103 today and then highs in the 70s for the rest of the week.

Has anyone checked out this new site called Poker Player Winnings? Looks like they just started tracking all the cash games on FTP so it will be another tool in looking up opponents to see how good or bad they are. Now that all the tournaments, SnGs, and cash games are being tracked we can keep an eye on who is really a break even player.

I took yesterday off from poker as I needed to rest my ass from the beats so I'm refreshed and ready to win some cash today. Skillz has disaster written all over it and like so many other Skillz events it will certainly come down to a card catching contest.

Good Luck to me. Also the Bodonkey is down to the last three events and there are only about 4 players safe at this point to make the top 18. I happen to be in 18th so I definitely need to pick up some points tonight. I really want to play in the two table SnG for $12K as it appears to be my best shot at a prize since I've done shit in the BBThree.

Will Miami get fucked in the NBA draft lottery tonight? Anything below 2nd is a bad beat. The NBA has rigged these things before so lets see where the Knicks wind up.

The Conference Finals should be good this year as the top 4 teams are left to fight it out. Can Kobe and the Lakers knock off the Spurs dynasty and can the Celtics handle the Piston to set up a glory days match-up of Celtics-Lakers in the finals. I mean really who wants to watch Detroit and San Antonio play in the finals? Boring!

Congrats to fellow cancer survivor John Lester on his no-hitter last night. No-Hitters are one of my favorite baseball events so I enjoy them even if it was a Red Sock who threw it.

Hope everyone had an awesome weekend and made boatloads of cake.

New Segments

Hello boys and girls. Miami Don is back with tales from the felt. It seems I do very well playing live and not so well playing online so I'm going to start a couple new segments on this here blog.

The first is, "Ass Fucking of the Day" and please don't any of you homosexuals or anal loving people get all over senstive on this alright.

Here I will portray my worst hand of the day. Now sometimes said "ass fucker" has no choice but to commit it's chips on what is to be a cooler so no fault of theirs if they didn't know better. But yes fault all of us for playing on FTP since they don't pay out anymore but that's a topic for another day.

Today's hand is:



Now in ass fuckers defense nothing he could to do know he was behind and in my defense if he happened to flop a FH oh fucking well.

Let's move on to my 2nd segment called, "Why did I raise with QQ?" Now to most of you donks QQ means bliss that you can't find in your real lives but those who know me understand I've lost nearly $28,493 with QQ. Actually I've determined a luck box theory totally surrounding QQ but that a story for another day.

Here I find 3 limpers in a $.50/$1.00 game and I make it fucking $8 to go. Well I get three callers. Seeing I have position and both donks check in front of me I fire at that pot. So what do I get? A check raise jam. Later I losee again with QQ. Someday I'll learn to play QQ like 22 but like most of you out there male and female I'm turned on by being with two bitches.



Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and made lots of loot.


Oh wait....Sorry I posted before my "Ass Fucking" was done...check this out.



Wait there is more...



Fuck Dad why us? Why the fuck us???

Sergio Backs In

Did anybody watch the Players on Sunday? Of course I have to eat shit since Sergio the donkey won but come on did he win it or did Goydos lose it? Goydos had three bogeys in the last five holes and he had quite an easy chip from right in front of the 18th green that he chunked forcing a playoff. Don't get me wrong Sergio played very well but Goydos blew a three shot lead with five to play so don't tell me Sergio went out and won this thing.

How dumb are those Survivor players? To let that skank Pavriti win is downright embarrassing. It did shed some light into how stupid men are though. Guys will fall for any shit that comes out of a woman's mouth just because she has a vag and every guy deep down thinks he's gonna get some. Here is a word of advice guys. Act uninterested sometimes. Play hard to get occasional. Don't act like some pussy whipped fool, stalker, insecure donkey. It works like a charm!

A democratic house and a democratic senate sucks huh. Wait until that preacher gets in office and it will be the Carter administration all over again. Broke dick economy, taxes out the ass, fuck we'll turn into some socialistic Pseudo-euro donk country. I can't wait. The only good thing about Carter was one of the greatest Presidents in this country's history took over. Save our country folks, vote Republican!

About those screen shots. I've discussed those at length with a couple trusted buddies and they were both a matter of bad luck, bad timing and yes a couple mistakes on my part. I'm working hard on my end game for both satellites and MTTs and I'm convinced you can't be a nit at the end of these things. Folding into the money in satellites doesn't always work, and waiting on big hands in MTTs just to shove A rag into some higher A rag doesn't work either. If you look around, those who actually WIN MTTs, and I'm talking about big field events and not 83 player bloggaments, play highly aggressive at the end and those who get close on occasion but don't win are way too tight. No need to list names we all know who is who.

I've been having fun playing a lot more HU cash and MTTs lately. HU is such an interesting game and although there is luck involved with being on the right side of the cooler, it seems better players will win and win big over time. My strong suit in poker is reading people and it really seems there are not a lot of real tricky players out there in the lower limits I've started playing. I'm sure that will change as I move up but for now they seem to be highly profitable.

Also there is a fun $22HU MTT on FTP that starts nightly at 23:45. That might be a little to late for all you east coast snobs but it is an interesting event. They've been getting 256 nightly and are getting real close to making it to 512 which will make for an even fatter prize pool. Also, don't forget this Sunday BBT Badass Loretta is hosting a $26 HU MTT at 21:00 also on FTP. Sign up early since they will only allow powers of 2 to enter so if you wait until the last minute you may get cut. The max allowed is 64 and it would be great to see this thing fill every week.

A quarter of the season done in baseball and plenty of surprises out there. I wonder if we are seeing the fallout from HGH and juice as there seems to be big dropoffs in offensive numbers. That whole Padre team must have had juice parties as they are hitting a not so stellar .233 as a team. Has Toronto scored more than one run in a game in the past week? Also there are eight entire teams hitting .250 or below which is just bad. It is fun watching all those kids for the Marlins mashing balls all over the park.

I hope everyone had a nice weekend and made a ton of money.

No More Bad Beats

We can all admit that this was really ghey and yes I'm pulling from the archives...





But seriously what the fuck is this...



Now Chad and Lucko and Hoy have all kicked ass and won multiple MTTs but really has anyone ever done this?

Here is the deal. Nobody tell me a bad beat story ever again. If you do I might bust your ass.

Hope everyone ran well this weekend and as I said, I still don't think Sergio can putt. Go Fullham.

Fullham

Does anyone watch Survivor? Man was that kid fucking stupid last night to fall for the bullshit those four bitches put on him. I know he's some dumb 21-year-old kid who works in an ice cream parlor but please kid. I thought that brother James was the dumbest ever survivor player but nope now they is a two-way tie for first.

Anyone wanna bet Sergio's putter lets him down at the Players this weekend? Why does he even get some much publicity anyway he's never won shit?

I'm an soccer fan and I'm looking forward to Sunday's finale in the English Premier League. No not to see who wins the Championship but to see if Fullham can continue their amazing run and avoid relegation. A win and they are through but they can still get by if either Birminghman or Reading lose. I root for Fullham since they have Brian McBride as their captain along with a couple other "yanks" on the team so it would be nice to see them get through.

That's it from Vegas. You can find me at the Venetian all weekend if you need to get a hold of me. Play smart and stay profitable.

Fore

I think I'm finally back to normal after the fantastic weekend at Mookies. I knew I was out of shape but two days of golf and not much sleep had all of us extremely sore.

That was actually my first time playing golf since last years WAM and I do think I have the fever once again. When I lived in Florida and owned a business I probably played golf 3-4 times a week and absolutely loved it but once I moved to Vegas poker and laziness took over and I just stopped playing. I think though it's time to change that up. I'm going to go hit some balls today and who knows maybe I'll sneak in 18.

No real poker to speak of. I'll be back at the live cash tables this weekend so hopefully I'll win some monster hands that I can post about. I did play Razz with you donks on Tuesday and man is that a fucked up game. The limit tourneys blow anyway since the structure sucks and it becomes a 70 person card catching contest but with razz it's just plain retarded. I think I will donk up some Donkey Catchers tonight so see you there.

Congrats go out to Lucko and his monster run. His BOOOOM is one of the gheyest things I've ever seen but fuck can that guy play MTTs. Vegas Lucko!

My trademark is pending with the Push Fest so as soon as that is complete you donks will have to call it the Miami Don Push Fest or my lawyers will be all up in your ass!

Not counting democrats is there any group more fucked up than PETA? It will be interesting to see what happens between them and the old blue bloods who run horse racing. My guess is the NHRTA tells PETA to go fuck themselves but PETA I'm sure doesn't care because all they want is money and publicity.

I hope everyone is running well and happy in their lives.

Back from Austin

I'm back donkeys and I'm bigger, badder, and as classless as ever so get used to reading some regular posts once again. Oh and try not to get your feelings hurt either.

Weekend at Mookies was a blast as expected. It was great to catch up with some of my true friends and share some (surprisingly few)drinks and many many laughs. Thanks again to Mookie and Mrs. Mookie for hosting once again. And for all you lame-ohs who backed out your big-time loss. I'll have more updates this week and I already can't wait to do it again next year.

A big shout out to my boy Waffles for winning player of the month in April. My hope is that he plays in a live WSOP event and doesn't pocket the money. Come on Wes make him play. If somehow Waffles does win the TOC and the ME seat does anyone want to dress up in a Waffles costume and rail him down at the RIO? We could make a terrific scene real.

So that is my quick update for now as I need to get caught up on some thinks as well as go BBQ a steak. Back tomorrow and good luck to you all in the MATH tonight.