Tuesday, May 15, 2007

The Seven Deadly's

Ever have one of those days where you just think how awesome life is? I had one today.

I drove from Delray Beach to Naples to see my parents, brother, sister-in-law and niece. I love driving across Alligator Alley on I-75 as I think the vast nothingness is beautiful. 90 miles an hour, through a couple fires, with almost nothing on my mind except totally enjoying the moment.

After I got to my parents house I saw some real rain for the first time in 14 months. One of those beautiful Florida thunderstorms with maybe 4 inches of rain in 2 hours, great lightning strikes, the works. We followed that up with some cocktails, a home cooked lobster dinner, and some great conversation. What a fabulous day. Tomorrow back to Delray and time to get to work.

I'm late to the party and I see I was tagged from one of my favorites Change 100 and also surprisingly I thought from last years Summer Classic winner F Train.

Do you donkeys really want to hear this. I think I'm a good story teller in person but I hope I'm not too long winded doing this. Oh well here goes. Perhaps someday I'll expand all seven.

1. My first car was a 1976 Datsun B210. Don't laugh and you youngsters yes it was actually a car. I got it before I went to college and man I think the doors and body were made with tin. It's lucky I saved crashing cars until later in life when I actually had some decent medal surrounding me. Anyway what was awesome about this car is the drivers floor board was rusted out so there was a big hole under the carpet which came in handy on more than a few occasions. I can think of three times I got pulled over and each time I was able to slip, either a beer, a bag of weed, or a pipe, through the hole without the dumb ass cop finding it. I'd wait til the walked back to there car and I'd retreive the goods and me and whichever passenger had a good laugh. Fuck I wish they had camera phones back in the day, I might be famous now. I also once locked my keys in the car and was able to get those bad boys out after a few hours of fishing there the hole. I think I still have a scare and its proof that we don't need tetanus shots anymore.

2. I was a very good basketball player in high school, so good in fact I got a scholarship to college. Problem was I peaked as a sophomore when I averaged 17 points a game and instead of playing 8 hours a day which I did up until then I found I liked beer and weed better. So I went from receiving letters from Divison I schools to getting a ride to Westiminster College in Fulton, MO. an NAIA school then.

3. As some of you know I'm a bad loser. I'm highy competitive and I hate losing but thats not really number three. Number three is I was thrown out of both my last high school and college games. In High School we had this shitty crooked ref who did way too many of our games and in the district play-offs we were losing to some stacked city high school team and we were getting killed. With about 1 minute left that shitty ref called a foul on me when we were down by 25 and I called him a douche bag. Amazingly that didn't do the trick so when the guy made the first free throw I got the ball and acted like I was going to hand it back to the ref but itstead I punted the ball right past his head and deep into the stands. As you can guess that got the ejection.

In college it gets even better. I only stayed eligible for a semester but I was somewhat of a cult hero for my long hair, my partying ways, and my wild attitude at what was a very uppidity college. So I knew I wasn't going to make grades and my coach knew I wasn't going to make grades so as the semester got near and end my playing time was almost non-existent, even though I probably should have started. So if we were playing at home and doing the well, the crowd, which was always full, would chant Don-nie, Don-nie, Don-nie, in hopes I'd get in the game and something unpredictible might happen. Well I didn't disappoint.

In our last game before break, a Saturday after Finals Week the gym was packed and there was one last big campus party left before everyone headed home for Christmas Break. We blew out our opponents and with about 10 minutes left and us up by 30 the coach emptied the bench including me. Well five straight times down the court I got the ball and scored. On the fifth time I got fouled and I put on a real showboat manuver, standing over an oppsosing player and flexing. One of his teammates wasn't too happy with my antics and he threw the ball at me from about 5 feet away nailing me square in the back. I turned around walked up to him real calm and punching him right in the head dropping him to the floor out cold. A small melee insued and the other coach and my coach almost got into a fist fight, it was a real beauty. So I got kicked out of the game but for some reason all I had to do was sit on the bench, I didn't get ejected. The crowd was in full party mode and that send them over the edge. I got a standing ovation and the crowd was back to Don-nie, Don-nie, Don-nie, it was unreal. It got so crazy in fact that the coach finally sent me to the locker room in hopes the place would calm down, which it never did. I still get shivers down my spine just thinking about it and I would guess there are ex-classmates who still tell the story.

4. The same night of my ejection I banged three different girls, in three different beds and none of the three was my girlfriend at the time. This wasn't some wild foursome either; three different girls, three different beds, one night. Too bad it wasn't a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, but it was a flat chested chick, a medium chested chick, and a big breasted chick. Man talk about a day and night to remember. I did go back for my second semester but that was it, I lost my ride and moved on to another college.

5. The most days in a row I shot heroin was 187. As most of you know I had some drug addictions in the early 90s and during one stretch I made it 187 days without missing. Try keeping up with what became a $200 a day habit, with no job and no place to live. Thankfully I was smart enough to keep a car and I rode around stealing and fencing the goods to support my habit. The fun ended when I got pulled over and picked up on a warrant and I visited four jail in four days before I was sent to treatment in Minnesota. Talk about miserable, kicking and violently sick puking and shiting all over myself and everyone in my path. Needless to say nobody tried to take my sneakers or my meals. What started out as some romantic and freeing adventure become such a fucking grind trying to get my dope every day. I can still remember the pain of kicking to this day. Oh well. Today I'm heroin free although a nice opiate pharmacudical every now and again is still one of lifes pleasures.

6. I only have one nut and its my left one. Thats right (pun intented) boys and girls, one nut. One my 34th birthday I was diagnosed with testicular cancer after I went to the Urologist complaining because my right nut had become the size of an avocado. He immediately send me to the Chief of Urology at University of Miami who did the operation personally. From diagnosis to nut removal was 10 days. Its probably why the cancer never spread which this particular nasty strand had a history of doing. Coming up on eight years of cancer free and I'm considered in total remission and out of the danger zone. You'd never know by looking but if any ladies out there are into sacs, let me know and you can certainly check it out.

7. I live in Las Vegas and I hope to make it as a professional poker player and sports bettor. I've never been happier in my life. Its our experiences that make us what we are and although I've had some tough moments, I'm glad I've experienced them and I like who I've become today. I've also made some fantastic friendships along with a few hater in my 14 months in Vegas and as a blogger and I look forward to seeing all you donkeys this summer.

My turn.

1. CMitch
2. Smokkee
3. Scott Mc
4. Lucko
5. JJ
6. Chad
7. Chris


At 4:19 AM, Blogger smokkee said...

so now i can call u the uni-baller.

thx for taggin me, freakin basterd.

At 9:48 AM, Blogger F-Train said...

I hit you because I had a feeling that, if you did it at all, it would be very interesting. You did not disappoint.

(In particular, he story of the high school basketball game got a laugh out of me.)

At 10:09 AM, Blogger mookie99 said...

Uni-baller...ha ha

I was waiting for the part where you trained for the Tour de France and banged Sheryl Crow.

At 10:31 AM, Blogger lucko said...

#3 & 4 were awesome. #6 not so much. I can go my whole life without reading shit like that again.

At 12:35 PM, Blogger Fuel55 said...

Lol. When I met my first wife she was driving a '73 Datsun 510 that couldn't get over 45mph.

At 4:23 PM, Blogger Dr. Pauly said...

Good stuff. Please expand any of those one day for a Truckin' story.

At 4:43 PM, Blogger Joaquin "The Rooster" Ochoa said...

Very rare...a Turkey. When we would hook-up with three girls in one night back in the day we would call it a Turkey...like three strikes at the bowling alley the Turkey would show on the screen. Thus, in college they tried to change my name from The Rooster to Gobble-Gobble.

At 4:58 PM, Blogger Drizztdj said...

I wish you the best Don, hope you keep kicking those fishies around at the Belliago!

Next time we meet, I promise a bottle of Gatorade Ice on me!

At 1:37 PM, Blogger pokerpeaker said...

I laughed really hard duirng this whole thing. What a life. It's amazing you are as level headed now as you are. At least you seem to be. :)

At 9:58 PM, Blogger drewspop said...

Dude. Awesome.

How the hell can I follow that?

At 10:49 PM, Blogger Ignatious said...

this might be my favorite 7. great job, don.

At 1:02 PM, Blogger Eric a.k.a. Bone Daddy said...

Hey don, it was great to finally meet you in person. would of liked to hang around you guys longer, but they tossed my ass out of the venitian, fawkers.

Anyway, thanks for the $10 cab ride and the table selection tips.

ps, my FT account is Bone_Daddy84


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