Sunday, December 30, 2007

Happy New Year

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Happy New Year to all you Donks.

It keeps getting better.

There's More Than One Way To Eat A Miami Don.

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Come and get some ladies!!

Thursday, December 20, 2007


Good Luck to everyone who qualified for the TOC including the two donks who wrote their way in. I'm hoping we see a very well played game tonight and that the best MAN wins so we can get good representation in the Aussie Millions.

I for one am glad the BBTwo is now history. AL did a fantastic job in pulling this off on such short notice and the prize package is phenomenal but the fallout from the competition has brought out the worst of some people, myself included.

I found this a comment by Change 100 yesterday and I find it fitting.

Back in the day, blogger tournaments used to be fun for me. See some friends... blow off a little steam...drop the hammer, you know, good clean fun for an $11 buy-in. Now that points and leader boards and trash-talking peoples' play the morning after on one anthors' blogs to build up and tear down fragile egos seems to be de rigeur, the fun has been officially sucked out of it. So I don't play them anymore.

What started out as a friendly gathering has turned into some hard core competition and when I compete I always play to win. ALWAYS. So for me that means shit talking, gamesmanship, or whatever else it takes for me to win and the game no longer has any social value.

Now that the BBTwo is over, if and when I decide to play a blogger donkament, it will be for fun with no expectations. Although it's taken a while I've come to understand that for most, these gatherings are for fun, as the questionable play surely indicates, so my goal is to either have fun, or like Change move on.

I will say that all the drama of the last few days has been unreal and for once I'm glad I'm not in the middle of this but of course I will offer an opinion. If you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen.

I don't believe that a person should blog about hands histories or game situations and post that X person made a donkey play, whether if be from a bloggament, a casino, or a home game then go to someone elses blog and get in an uproar to find their play critiqued.

So for me to post about some donkey tourist at the MGM who misplayed AJ then I in return make a questionable play with the same AJ in the Big Game and say Bayne posts a series of screen shots explaining how, in his opinion, my play was questionable how can I blow up and over react to his own opinion on his own blog without being a hypocrite? Quite simply I can't.

If I'm going to dish it out I damn well better be able to take it. This is all an example and it is in no way directed at any particular person(s) and it is only my opinion but again the whole twisted irony is it's my blog and I can post what I want.

Now since this is my blog I'm going to post another opinion. Now I'm not much for posting insights on my personal poker strategy and I'm by no means a great player at this point but I constantly read and study and discuss poker and strategies with knowledgeable poker players in the quest to become a great poker player which alone has me doing more than 95% of players.

I also love when bloggers post hand histories, or strategy questions, or quizzes because when I see the masses agreeing on a particular solution that I, and other players who I believe know about this game, think is entire wrong, it makes me a better player.

Another favorite I like when people make a statement such as, "I'm priced in I have to call," when they have no fucking clue what priced in means, what pot odds are, what implied odds are, or to even put the other player on a range of hands.

Here is another comment I found in regards to a hand in question and this school of thought received a slew of support. BTW, jamming A2 preflop is so much worse than calling an all-in with AQ.

I do understand that there is more than one way to play any particular hand, some do it better than others, but you absolutely can not be results oriented by one trial. Plain and simple its absolutely horrible poker long term to call an all-in five bet preflop with anything other than KK or AA.

This leads me to my bigger premise which is calling. Of course there are situations where calling is the right play, with millions of hand possibilities it's impossible to make a blanket statement, but calling too much in general, and in particular during late stages of an MTT is the reason 90% of all poker players are losing players.

I wonder how many players are truly familiar with The Gap Theory? From my experience the answer is few. Now it can be very wrong to shove a questionable hand but its way worse to be calling with a speculative hand. After watching a bunch of tournaments and way too fucking many bloggaments, the final outcome for most is either blinding down to shit and jamming A rag into a higher A rag or by calling off the rest of their chips with crappy non-calling hands.

The raiser/jammer has two ways to win, either by having the better hand or by everyone folding. The caller has one way to win and that's only be having the better hand. Watching over and over and over people calling with shit like AT or 44 amazes me to no end.

There is also something called +EV and -EV. Sure calling an all-in with AQ when the blinds are 15/30 and you have $5K behind might get you a double in the first seven minutes and you're read might be they're a donk no way they can beat my AQ but more often than not you're going to the rail saying "really?" basically making it a long term -EV play.

So do I think jamming A2 is so much worse than calling with AQ? No way. Do I think jamming late in an MTT with 79o is worse than calling with AT? No way. Do I think calling station poker is profitable? No way. Do I think blinding down, hoping for AA but really waiting to push some shitty Ace rag is profitable. No way.

But then again what do I know, I'm a -7% ROI tournament player on FT this year.

I'd say stop being a calling station but why would I want you to do that. My money usually gets in ahead. So call all you want and I can only hope my 75% hands hold up.

The Bowl season starts tonight and I'm looking forward to two plus weeks of action as well as some profit. Between that, the NFL play-offs, and the January tourists it will be nice to get on a hot streak and to get that bankroll in decent shape heading into February's Venetian Deep Stack Extravaganza.

Good Luck again in the TOC.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Slump Buster

I come from a long line of baseball players and for those of you that know baseball you are aware of the many unwritten rules, quirks, and superstitions that accompany baseball. Rally caps, no talking to pitcher who is throwing a no hitter, no changing socks when on a hitting streak to mention but a few. The one that doesn't get as much publicity, the one that's whispered about in the back of the bus on fourteen hour road trips while playing A ball, the one no player openly likes to talk about is the Slump Buster.

When you start off cold in April, not hitting the ball well or when you do it's right at someone and it just doesn't seem to end. When it carries into May and you've dropped from 5th to 7th in the line-up and your starting to notice a few more days off than normal. When Memorial Day approaches and you're still battling with the Mendoza line, your head is all fucked up, and your angry all the time. Well nobody wants to do it but when the situation is this dire desperate measures are called for, yes my friends it's time for the Slump Buster.

As poker players and gamblers we can all relate to being in a slump. We can't win our coin flips, the hands when we are ahead don't hold, we see shitty players get extremely lucky and win large amounts of loot, we lose a sports bet in the last few seconds due to some fluke occurrence, just plain running bad.

2007 started out bad with Florida scoring 40 points in the first on Ohio St and blowing the Under which was my Bowl Game lock. My uneven run carried through March Madness where Tim Floyd stormed onto the court after a bad call getting two technicals and fucking up my USC +8 bet vs North Carolina. Suck outs galore through the cash games at WSOP. On and on it went. Yes I did final tables a DS at Venetian but I took a bad beat and went out 10th and I did go to Final 3 tables in the $750K in October but for the most part I ran very uneven throughout the year.

So as 2007 started nearing its end some random thoughts started popping into my head. "Slump Buster" "Slump Buster." Was my 2007 that bad that I needed a Slump Buster? Sure I ran uneven but I'm still up money for the year although my roll has suffered some for those break even months but did I still need a Slump Buster? Is the situation that drastic?

What exactly is a Slump Buster you ask? Well it's not the most PC thing in the world but I'm only telling you what I've been told so I'm not out to offend anyone. Remember this started with baseball and I suppose it's been carried on to other areas but myth has it there is one sure fired way to bust out of the hitting slump that has stretched all the way to Memorial Day.

Any female readers can change the sex and have it apply to them but this did start as a man thing. OK what you need to do is find the biggest, ugliest, hairiest most gruesome chick possible and you have to pick her up and I'm not talking physically. You have to get the slick talk working, you have to flirt, and you have to make this chick want you in the worst possible way.

Now we're talking about a very large and gruesome woman, one who's primary purpose on this planet is to eat, one who is without question sex starved and who, under any circumstances, won't turn you down. This is only the beginning and you are making a sacrifice to break the slump so don't ever forget this is not about your pleasure, it's entirely about her pleasure.

So you pick her up, you take her to your room and you get down to business. And when I mean you get down to business you get DOWN to business. Without a second thought you peel away all those layers of flab and you go down like a trooper and find that forgotten magical spot on this poor women's body. And you dig in for all it's worth.

Yes under all those layers of flab mixed with the moisture of a long lost organ it will be hard to breath. You must fight through this slump and you must stay down there. You must take all that weight on your head and go even deeper. Yes you must eat that ass too. In big healthy bites. You are going to make this woman's toes curl, as your head is locked between those meaty thighs. You are going to stay until this woman screams in ecstasy as she releases years worth of self doubt and self hatred. You are making the ultimate sacrifice, the one which lifts a slump of a long time.

Once this feat is accomplished you are free to either continue the encounter and find your own release or run the fuck out of there as fast as humanly possible. Your choice. Just know that the sacrifice has been made and the slump is now over.

What does this have to do with anything? Well anyone that was at the IP Sports Book on Sunday, who has been in a slump, and bet on Cleveland -3' vs the Jets, the drastic measure of baseball superstition, the Slump Buster, can now be avoided thanks to Eric Mangini.

That's right Eric Mangini single-handedly broke the slump for every single one of us that was present and holding a Cleveland Browns ticket. Many of you were there but for those who weren't here is the recap.

First how we got on Cleveland. Well after some deep discussion about the game with Dr Pauly we did what any good gambler does; we asked a real live cooler who they like. Well that cooler was none other than Waffles, the most unlucky person perhaps on the planet. "Waffles lets see your tickets" we asked. All but one had the Jets so Pauly and I immediately went to the window and layed a big bet on the Browns -3'.

Cleveland leads 17-6 with about 6 minutes to go and they punt the ball to the Jets. As someone who has been in a slump, my pessimistic side takes over and I forecast the Jets scoring, going for two and making it, and Cleveland only winning by 3 points. Well it was not to be that simple and much much more was still to happen.

The Jets do in fact drive right down the field marching 69 yards in 2:28 but for some strange reason the don't make the two point conversion so we are still covering. They do though go for an onside kick which of course they recover. So fuck Jets ball on their own 44 with still 3 minutes remaining. Now we have to hope Cleveland can stop them and somehow run out the clock.

The Jets immediately move the ball down to the Browns 20 yard line and after three incomplete passes face 4th and 10. "Go for it" is the chant from throughout the Sports Book but no, Mangini sends in the FG unit to cut the lead to 17-15. We're fucked is all I can think of.

The Jets try another onside kick but Cleveland covers at the Jets 37 although the Jets still have three time outs left. Our goal is for the Browns to pick up 8 yards but to not get the first down so they have to kick a FG to cover the spread. First down Lewis for three, second down lewis for three, third down lewis up the middle for first down yardage, "NO NO NO" but wait he breaks it, "GO GO GO" oh no two guys hit him at the ten but wait a stiff arm, legs keep churning, he breaks the tackle TD Cleveland.

The IP erupts. We are all running around screaming, high fiving one another as the miracle happens and the Browns now lead by 9. Oh fuck wait a second, there is still 1:22 left on the clock so a last second Jet TD and we are fucked yet again.

Cleveland does some shitty squib kick and the Jets take over on their own 40. I get that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach just knowing we are going to get fucked once again. Two plays and the Jets have a first down at midfield but they don't spike the ball and precise seconds tick off the clock.

An incomplete pass on first down. Oh fuck a deep completion for 32 yards and out of bounds at the Cleveland 18 with still :32 seconds left. I really think we're fucked now. Cleveland is playing prevent and the Jets have plenty of time to get it in the End Zone and fuck us all, typical for how the year has gone.

Wait! WTF is going on. I can't believe my eyes. Here comes the fucking FG unit onto the field? There is stunned silence in the Sports Book. Mangenius is kicking a FG on 1st and 10 from the 18 down by 9? Holy fuck. In all my life of watching and betting on football I don't remember anybody kicking a FG in this situation so basically he let us of the hook.

The FG is good and now all we have to do is recover the onside kick off and run the clock out which is exactly what happens. So in the span of 3 minutes we went from up, to escaping trouble on the missed two point conversion, to in trouble by them recovering an onside kick, to fucked by them kicking a FG, to in trouble by recovering the onside kick, to ecstatic by Lewis breaking a TD run, to in trouble by the Jets driving, to saved by Mangini the idiot for kicking a FG on first down at the 18 yard line.

So yes my friends, Cleveland covering due to Mangini is classified as a Slump Buster. We will always love Mangini for this as he picked up the frightful woman, he went down for hours, he ate the ass, he did everything necessary to break the slump of numerous football bettors on a glorious Sunday during the Winter Classic.

Not two hours later I'm sitting at a poker table and my A9 rivers a 9 to beat someone who had two pair to win a monster pot. Two hours later play is halted as someone at one of the affiliate Harrah's properties hits the bad beat jackpot making all of us bloggers seated at the table $140 richer. I played and easily won my first two NBA bets of the season. I look ahead to this Sundays games with clear vision seeing the winners. My QQ held up to AK and I won a race, a race I felt there was no way I could lose.

The doom and gloom is gone. The pessimism has cleared out. No more bitterness. No longer a hater. The optimism is back. The weight has been lifted from my shoulders. It's gonna be a great year.

Thank you Eric Mangini. Thank you for doing the deed and even eating the ass. Thank you for being the 2007 Slump Buster.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Blogger Recap

There is not much better than a blogger gathering here in Vegas and as always it was a fantastic weekend. For those of you who didn't make it, your loss, but hopefully you can clear off your schedule to make the trip next time. The fact that 120 invisible internet friends from all over the country can get together, drink, socialize, and play poker is amazing enough but the quality of friendships I've made in the last two years has just been unreal.

It is always nice to catch up with old friends and to meet new people for the first time. I do find it funny how there are certain core groups that hang out together yet nobody seems to have any problem intermingling between groups. Hell even the A-Lister's are about as cool as they come and they do a great job of being warm and friendly in welcoming everyone.

A big shout out goes to Falstaff for all the hard work behind the scenes in organizing this fine event. Major props too for scoring the Venetian as our tournament host casino. It's the finest poker room in all of Vegas and the structure you were able to put together was first class. I heard a few rumblings that the tournament was too long but I 100% disagree with that assessement so my hope is we keep things at Venetian for years to come. We are together for four days as a group and there is plenty of time to socialize so one tournament lasting 8-10 hours for those who went deep, is not a big deal and IMO the right way to do it.

The structure gave us plenty of time to really play poker and there were few times the event become a push fest and IMO skill won out over luck which is unusual with Vegas Casinos. They want to get you in and get you out and they do their best to give you a shitty structure. So again props to Falstaff for the hook-up and to the Venetian for being such awesome hosts.

For me personally Friday afternoon was spent playing cash at the Venetian then Friday night we headed over to MGM for more cash. I'm not a fan of the mixed games so after making the rounds and greeting everyone I settled into the toughest $1/2 NL cash game in all of Vegas with JJ, Chad, Scott Mc, Blinders, Otis and Weak. BTW we missed you Iak and Hoy and oh yea we missed the donations from the ever unlucky Smokkee too.

I was card dead and tried to force a couple hands and wound up down about $100 in the game. Poor Scott Mc took not one but two of the most brutal suckouts you'll ever witness in poker. In the first one he flopped the nut straight vs AA and got it all in only to see the board pair on the turn and an Ace on the river to lose to a full house. 90 minutes later he flopped a set of Qs on an AQx board and got it all in vs AK only to see a K on the turn and another Ace on the river. Live poker is rigged.

Saturday was the Winter Classic and as I mentioned above we played with a great structure in the best poker room in Vegas. 110 players started at 3pm with 6000 chips and 30 minute levels. I really felt like a played solid poker and proved to myself once again I'm a much better live player than online. I won a lot of uncontested pots, pushed a few people off hands, but made some very difficult and timely lay downs as I kept advancing deeper and deeper.

Once we got down to the final two tables I was somewhat short after losing a bunch of chips having to lay down QQ preflop. My position also sucked as I had Dr Pauly and Johnny Hughes to my right and they were beating me into most pots making it nearly impossible for me to shove and pick up the blinds and antes. I did resteal once of Pauly and finally got it all-in with AT sooted vs 66. A on the flop flush on turn and I doubled up and was right back in things.

I stayed patient, picked my spots, layed down 88, 66, and 55 to raises ahead of me, and before I knew it we were at the final table. I was probably 4th in chips starting the final table but the blinds were so high really the only move was jam or fold. Three players were eliminated when I picked up QQ in early position. I jammed and was called with AK. Those who know me understand QQ has been my ultimate disaster starting hand the last year, costing my thousands and thousands of dollars and true to form an Ace on the turn and I was crippled. Ironically I went out the very next hand having to play the BB blind losing with A3 to QQ.

So while I badly wanted to win the Winter Classic I did finish in 7th making it two consecutive final tables. If I win that one crucial coin flip I'm the chip leader with 6 to go and would have been in good position to get lucky to take the event down. Oh well it was an awesome 8 hours of tournament poker and we also had a blast from the past as SprStoner made an appearance for the Winter Classic. I look forward to playing with you live Shawn come January.

That's enough for now as I have some work to do and some errands to run. Tomorrow we'll get into the Sunday action at the IP sports book and the ultimate Slump Buster.

Don't forget tonight is full of added money.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Mookie and Buddy Dank Radio

Woot Woot! The Winter Classic starts for me tonight.

Tonight go play in the

And join me, KOD, and Pvanharibo as special guests live from Vegas on

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Happy Tuesday

Let's start with poker. The only poker I've played in 15 days was last Thursday's Riverchasers and last night's MATH and while a glutton for punishment man I'm proud that. Sure I was on vacation for a most of it but I also took the weekend off and enjoyed the conclusion of the college football season as well as Week 13 in the NFL. It will be back to poker this week as all you donks invade Vegas and I truly am ready to get back to the grind.

As we all know college football is an absolute fucking joke. Is it the only sport in the history of the world where we vote to see who gets the big bucks instead of having a play-off? I love watching college football but when the season ends with injustice I hate it all over again.

The two best teams IMO are Oklahoma and USC but of course they don't play. So the National Championship Game is really the consolation final between Ohio St and LSU, two vastly overrated teams. The other big ass fucking was Kansas getting the Orange Bowl bid over Missouri. WTF is that you ask? We all know it's that Kansas is a wealthier school that will travel better which means more coin for the Orange Bowl. Sorry but I hope that game is 56-0 and I don't care who wins. No drama would be a perfect remedy for those fucknuts who soldout for money.

On to some early Bowl Game picks. These are just first glance/instinct so they are not set in stone but here goes. I was just thinking that 2007 was a very uneven year in poker and sports betting and I think it started last year with my UNDER proclamation on the Ohio St-Florida game. Duh. How was I to know Ohio St would give up 40 in the first half but hey I'm over it. Anyway, hopefully I'll get off to a hot start in '08 and turn it into a HUGE year.

Micigan +10' vs Florida. One for road Lloyd.
Hawaii +10 vs Georgia. I love this game and will also bet it on ML at probably +300.
Virginia Tech -4 vs Kansas. VT's experience should be overrated Jayhawks.
Oklahoma/W Virgina UNDER 63. OU defense is fast enough to deal with WV offense.
Ohio St +6 vs LSU. LSU always plays close games and OSU should learn from last year.

Again that is first glance and subject to change.

If you are playing The Mookie tomorrow tune in to Buddy Dank Radio as he'll be doing a live remote from KOD's house. I'll be there as well and I'm hearing the possible special guest will be everybody's love interest Pvanharibo. I'm sure the cocktails will be flowing and with me and KOD there should be plenty of shit talking so listen in as we try to break the record for most listeners to the show.

I'm pscyhed for this weekend as 100+ bloggers usually makes for an outstanding time. I'll be at all the sanctioned blogger functions from Thursday through Saturday and I'll be joining Al for a Sunday of football betting and heavy cocktailing at the IP Sports Book so come on down. do one or two or ten shots and see if you can pick some winners with the experts.

Oh and don't forget the all the free money tonight.