Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Retired Online

Sorry it has to be this way.

And sorry there are no pictures or HHs to accompany this, I'm on suicide watch as it is, I can't bear to see anything more than the pictures in my head.

I'm now 19th in Bodonkey as I ran AT into KK. Should have played like a pussy and folded to the points, but that doesn't work as I always bubble anyway.

So I get the bright idea to play cash. It's not like I can play cash online and keep on losing right. I mean 27 out of 33 losing sessions means I'm due right? Out of 1054 hands figure I'm due 84 sets no? How about 12. How about two with no action and nine losing to runner runner? I can go on but nobody wants to here by bad beat stories. I'm sure your luck sucks worse than mine, particularly those guys and girls who are so unlucky with $10K+ wins in MTTs. Not to mention trips to Australia and Las Vegas. Blow!

So your fuckers I went down in a blaze of glory.

KK into AA all in preflop.

KK into AA all in preflop.

AA v. QQ all in on a Txx flop. Q on river.

AA v. JJ all in on a 7xx flop. J on river.

And to finally donk of what was left...go figure the 2nd most unlucky donkey in poker.

55 v. JJ all in on a 952 flop. J on river.

So I guess I'm a break even player just like Waffles.

All this in one day. I suck!

I guess it's time to get back to my needle in arm, life in prison, cancer, death stories. Those posts generated 24x more hits than my poker crying.

You guys have been begging for those for a while so I guess that will the agenda coming up.

If one person dare tells me a bad beat story, no lie, I'll go to prison for whacking their head of with my sword. Don't tempt me!

Any sympathy comments will be treated in the same way!

Good luck all. Hope you are killing the game.

12 Comments:

At 11:32 AM, Blogger HighOnPoker said...

For what its worth, you and I both know that live poker is the real deal and online poker is a videogame facsimile.

 
At 12:11 PM, Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Man up you fag. No sympathy here. Just go out and fucking win live or something. You know your reads rock. Pussy.

 
At 12:19 PM, Blogger Dr. Pauly said...

Less bad beats. More stories about banging 19 year old Latina hookers. See you in Vegas. We'll focus on four team MLB parlays this summer.

 
At 1:12 PM, Blogger pokerpeaker said...

I would say that sucks, but I really don't want a sword to the neck.

 
At 4:18 PM, Blogger $mokkee said...

you run goot

 
At 7:33 PM, Blogger Bayne_S said...

Only want needle in the arm stories from the past.

 
At 9:45 PM, Blogger Alan aka RecessRampage said...

I prefer 19 year old blondes myself but yeah, aside from that, what Pauly said.

 
At 10:48 AM, Blogger Weak Player said...

Crap, just when I start reading blogs again. Well, I will read about you playing live, unless we are playing live together everyday...Oh crap, nevermind.

 
At 11:41 AM, Blogger PokerNotes99 said...

Excellent. That makes me feel much better about my recent run, or lack of run.

 
At 1:11 PM, Blogger 4dbirds said...

You left us hanging in some bar with some very dodgey characters somewhere in the midwest. Prison, cancer? I can't believe it gets 'better'. Start churning out the rest of your life story.

 
At 2:17 PM, Blogger Irongirl01 said...

Ditto what Jordan said. Remember MD we dont read you because of the poker content but for the man behind the cards and chips. At least I do. Far more interesting then a bad beat story. Oh yeah and for your sports betting too.

FWIW Im in the running bad online unless it a $1 buyin too.

 
At 10:09 AM, Blogger Ingoal said...

Booooooooooooooooooom! :-/

 

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