Monday, May 17, 2010

Reflecting

I've been doing a lot of reflecting the last week or so, taking looks back, playing the what if game, trying to chart a path going forward, contemplating, trying to make sense of it, and it all comes down to I'm not the sure what.

Although it doesn't seem it, it was fifteen years ago that, I basically gave up and threw what little of a life I had away. I can remember the freedom I felt when I finally said fuck it and quit my job, my family, my friends, and my life, and lived on the streets chasing drugs, stealing for a living, and not even pretending like I gave a shit.

It's amazing where we can sometimes find freedom, and my freedom finally came from no longer carrying or worrying, shutting down my feelings and emotions, and for the first time in my life really just letting go. I had a functioning car, registered and legal, which made me a valuable asset in the freedom I was about to pursue. I hooked up with some long time addicts, as their driver, riding them all over the St. Louis area so they could boost (shoplift) getting a percentage of whatever was made. We drove around all day, stealing what we could, getting high four or five times a day, crashing in a flop house or the drug and hooker motel, not a fucking care in the world.

I didn't think about the job at UPS that I walked away from after seven years, I didn't think about my family or whatever worry they might have had not knowing if I was dead or alive month after month, I had forgotten about my square friends, you know the ones that only drank too much and smoked too much weed, and I took to freedom on the road like I'd finally found my calling in life. My brain was shut off, I was totally living in the moment, the only care I had was the next boost or the next fix, nothing further ahead than that. I was young, wild, and free.

I feel as if I'm back to that point again fifteen years later. No, I'm not ready to give up what little I have to go back out and live a life of drugs on the street, but I'm looking again for that freedom I had fifteen years ago, and again, four years ago when I moved to Vegas, when I just didn't think past today, and I didn't look back at the past, and I just let go, turned off my brain, and lived in freedom.

Anyway with all that said, I know I promised some stories from the past, so maybe just maybe we'll go back to this era, where some unbelievable shit happened, some good, mostly bad, but definitely what you donks are looking for.

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BBT 5 sucks ass, as did the MFTOPS ME. In the last three BBT events I never got more than 4000 chips, had shit for cards, couldn't hit a flop if I did raise, and was getting called my stations left and right. Disaster right! So what happens is my stack dwindles down, and I make some risky play in the hopes of doubling or going home. No sense playing that short stack ninja shit when only 1 or 2 players win TOC seats, and there are no points to fold to so fuck it, me go home before two hours if me have no cards and no chips.

In the MFTOPS ME we started with 7500 and I think I peaked at 8800. I was three seats to the left of this Italian maniac who was reraising anybody that opened before him and I was waiting to set a trap and get his ass. I floated him a couple times and was able to push him off hands but finally after having only one pocket pair in the first two and a half hours my chance came.

A big aggro stack raised in EP, and super donk Eye talian, does he customary reraise. I find JJ in the small blind and shove. The open raise was for 400, the reraise was to 1100 and I shipped about 6200 and felt damn good about it. The opener folded, and the super donk snap calls with 88. Needless to say an 8 on the river and instead of being up 13K (avg was about 10K) I went home. FML.

I do love playing those slow structure events, 7500 chips 12 minute levels, donks everywhere, but the suckout factor is extremely high but if you can avoid them early and build some chips, and are patient one can go far. Oh well, we'll try again in all the Mini-WSOP events Full Tilt will be running along side the WSOP.

The tournament was funny last night, my boy Chad was directly to my left and there must have been ten times nobody opened and it was a blind v. blind battle. We were showing down shit like 52 beating 43, 74 beating 23, and on and on. I did get TT once no action, and he once in the BB gets AA and nothing, it's folded around to him. Sucked balls.

I do look forward to when Florida gets real poker on July 1. I plan on playing a lot of live cash games and I'm going to bust my ass to build a big roll. The games are very juicy down here and that's with only $100 buy-ins. They will be much juicier when they start having 100-150 BB buy-ins on July 1. It's a great mix down here of old retirees, tourists, and young guns, and I think it will have a nice feel to it once it's up and running. It won't be up to speed with the Venetian or the always juicy MGM out in Vegas but hopefully my roll will allow me to spend 3-6 months a year in Vegas doing well in those games too.

6-9 months in Florida and 3-6 months in Vegas grinding cash sounds like a good plan to me. Less lazy/vodka, more hours grinding will be the plan. Sometimes you don't realize what you had until it's gone and I totally feel that way about playing live cash games. The second time is going to be the charm.

Turn those bats around Cardinals and good luck if you have a team in the NBA lottery tonight.

2 Comments:

At 1:31 PM, Blogger 淑惠 said...

人自幼就應該通過完美的教育,去建立一種好的習慣。 ..................................................

 
At 1:37 PM, Blogger Josie said...

Such a tease! You were in pure storytelling mode - like the lull of boat rocking....and then shut it off. :(

btw - I hope I was that italian maniac you refer to. ;)

 

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