So the Super Bowl is going to New York? If that is not the dumbest shit I ever heard. I can only hope for a monster Nor'easter to hit the area, close all the airports, and to wreak havoc on all the festivities.
While on New York, and as a Miami Dolphin fan, it's obvious I hate the Jets so I'll give you some good reading about how the Jets ownership is dumb, continually fucking their fans, and a total low class outfit. So you got the first class Giants and no class Jets. Are the fans divided along those lines too?
Anyway, the Jet's have 17,000 PSLs still left to sell, and if they don't sell them all of their games will be blacked out in the New York area. What a total embarrassment that would be.
Here is some more good reading about the draft parties the Giants and the Jets had. Now will finish it off with screwing the fans ever more on the parking issues.
The New York Jets... no class baby.
Okay it's Wednesday how about a story.
So I drove down to the South Side, around the Jefferson and Chippewa area, and started my life as a booster. I stopped at this flop house that would be home for the next couple months that belonged to a life long addict who went by Two Liter. Well it didn't belong to him, he was allowed to sleep in the basement and he had no access to the main floor of the house but recently his step father had died and his mother was in the hospital on her death bed too so Two Liter had taken over the house. Staying with him was his cousin Bobby who would make up the third person on our crew.
So I picked them up, we went and copped some dope, and started working. Now I had some experience in crime, but nothing had me prepared for being a full time booster. These guys were going to show me the ropes on how to make it on the street as a heroin addict, how to make money, what to steal, who the fences were, what each fence bought, how to spot security, where to park, planning exits, and how to think on your feet in the heat was on. Man talk about exciting, I was fired up.
Now my buddy Drunken Pete from earlier stories had been a booster for a long time and in the past I had driven him around as he stole bottles of booze that we would sell to bar owners down in the scary North side. My role here had consisted of driving but at times it was also to distract. Say we'd go into Walgreens, I'd go the person at the counter and start asking them questions about the high priced bottles then kept behind the counter. I'd have them take some bottles down saying I needed to by a gift for a bachelor party or some other shit, I'd quiz them about the bottle, why did it cost so much, and while I did that Pete would slip in and put three .750 mls. into his waist band and walk out the door. If the place looked really good, I'd keep talking to the oblivious clerk and Pete would come back in and take three more bottles.
We do this for a while, hitting a bunch of different stores until we had enough to head in. We got paid $8 a bottle from the crooked bar owners so the goal was to get 20 bottles, make $160, head to the dealer, get enough for two hits, then take the rest of the money and put $10 in the gas tank and then go spend $6 or $8 on the dollar menu at Wendy's or Mc Donald's. It was a fun way to spend a Saturday or a Sunday, I'd get my dope free for the weekend then I'd be home on Sunday night ready for the next week or work.
With Two Liter and Bobby we took that to a whole new level. They were on to about ten different capers which was good because we could mix up what we did and not burn out the scam so we could keep on getting paid for as long as possible. These guys had a bunch of different things we could get in order to make money and it blew me away how easy it was to get and to make money on things I'd never even consider stealing.
Now you have to remember this was the mid 90's so being a booster was much easier than I imagine it is today. Not as much security, not as many security cameras, cash register systems weren't all computerized so you didn't get put on black lists like I'm sure they do today. Really stores were not up to speed on how to protect their merchandise and they must have just wrote it off then, not caring what they lost or who knows maybe they had the loses budgeted in.
Meat, booze, cigarettes, silverware, computer software, baseball cards, clothes, cabinet handles, Roundup, on and on the list went.I started off by just driving those two from store to store, then to the fences, then to the dope man. Soon after I became a return guy, which was when certain places would take merchandise back without receipts, I was a new face and I didn't at that point look like a junkie so I could get away with it easier. Eventually wanting to learn how to actually boost the goods and again because I was a fresh face with the stores and their security, I was taught how to actually get the goods.
At first I would just shadow Two Liter or Bobby when they went into a store. They taught me the routes in and out of the stores, what exactly I was going to boost, where in the store I was going to put the merchandise into my waist ban, how to act cool walking out of the store with the goods on me. I'd been running with these guys for a few months now and we'd been running schemes every single day but the heat was starting to get after those two and it was time to mix things up so the next logical step was for me to be the booster. I'd done enough follows and now it was finally time for me to do my first boost.
I got an easy one. This one took money something drug addicts couldn't hold onto for long but for some reason at this point we had the money tucked away to pull this caper off. What it involved was stealing the product then going back in and buying the same product with cash. What I was going to boost were cabinet handles, that's right cabinet handles. Cabinet handles came in a variety of styles and price ranges but most of them had a conventional two inch gap between where they were fastened to a drawer or cabinet. Stuff 20 handles in your pockets and walk right out the door. Easy as pie right. Off to Lowe's or Home Depot, or Central Hardware we went.
So in I go not following Bobby or Two Liter, I'm all by my lonesome. I had to the back of the store, out of the way where they have the handles. I'm looking around casually, not drawing any attention like I've been taught. It's early afternoon the store is kind of empty, and heck, you can never find a clerk when you need one right? There is nobody around, nobody following me, I'm just a construction worker coming in to buy some handles for the cabinets I'm installing this afternoon.
I find a nice looking handle for the $8.00, I open the drawer, yup, gotta be about 100 in there, plenty to steal and to buy. I look around quick, nobody even near me, not a worker, not another customer, it's just me. My heart is thumping slightly, but for the most part I'm calm as can be considering this is my first time at this. I count out ten and put them on top of the box that encloses all the containers of handles. I count out another ten and just leave them in my right hand. I scoop off the other ten into my left hand, take one more look around, cost is clear, my mouth gets a tad bit dry, my heart rate picks up slightly, my hands shake a tiny bit, one more look around, nothing, and I shove both hands into my oversized front pockets and drop the handles in.
I have on an untucked shirt that easily hides the pockets. The pockets are baggy enough that they easily hide the bulk of the handles. I turn and head toward the door taking a different route from my way in. I cut down one aisle making sure I'm not being followed. I get to the end of the aisle, make a right, walk down the main cross aisle, then head down a different aisle. Nope nobody following at all. I get to the front, I don't see any managers, any security, or any workers for that matter other than the check out clerks. I ease between two check out clerks, get to the front door, they automatically open, I walk out then....
....Nothing. Nothing happens. I casually walk over to the car, we don't see anybody after us, I let out a great big sigh and it was done. That fucking easy. I get a nice job man, way to go, how was it, and just that quick it's over. I walked in took the handles, walked out, all told took maybe 90 seconds. Man was that easy. The adrenaline started flowing and I started to really enjoy what I had just down. I was getting that rush man. Wow, life was so fucking good. Boosting, no job, no rules, make some money, shoot some dope, man, life is fucking good.
Anyway here is how the rest of the next ninety minutes of so works out. It won't be long before all three of us do get four caps a piece, which will be a real nice nod. Maybe we'll cop and go into Forest Park and sit in the shade, and watch the regular people play golf, of bike ride, or jog, or have picnics, doing whatever it is real people do.
So then the next guy writes down the SCU number of the handle, goes in and gets twenty, goes through the checkout and buys the 20 handles for cash. Say we got $8 handles that meant $160 plus sales tax of 6% so $169.60. Take the handles, the receipt and walk right out the door.
We'd wait for about thirty minutes, call the store up and say I'm Dick Hertz from Dumbass Construction and my guy was just in the store thirty minutes ago and he bought the some cabinet handles but he bought two inch handles and we'd already had the drawers and cabinets pre-drilled for 3 inches handles and we need to return these. As a safety we make sure the store doesn't carry 3 inch handles just in case they try to get you to exchange them. Nice right, always thinking ahead. So we go back to the store, we make a big tear in the bag and walk up to the exchange counter, telling the clerk we called, the manager said to bring them in.
She asks for the receipt which, oh shit, we must have lost with ripping the bag open. The clerk says, "well with no receipt I'll have to call my manager for approval." Now the manager come over and of course no receipt so he starts talking about no cash back without a receipt and here you lay it on thick. "Look sir, I'm the guy that just called, I was just in the store 30 minutes ago, I went through cashier lane number 4, that woman right there took my money. It was only thirty minutes ago...she'll tell you."
Sure as shit and it never failed, the manager walks over to the clerk, asks if she remembers this guy,
"Yes I do,"
"Do you remember what he bought?"
"Cabinet handles maybe?"
"Yes I think he paid cash,"
Then the manager pull out the receipt roll from the register, unrolls it back, and yup there it is in black and white, 20 cabinet handles, $169.60, paid in cash.
"Okay sir, sorry about all that, you'd be surprised at the lengths people go through to commit fraud here. Please try to save all receipts as it makes this process much easier. Luckily we were able to look at the tape and see that you were here and because of that I'm able to give you your cash back. If not I would have had to issue you a store credit. I hope you understand."
"Well thank you sir, it was just a mix up, my guy isn't the sharpest tool in the shed if you know what I mean, pun intended, hahahaha....have a good day."
Back in the car, we drive down the road to the next Home Depot or whichever store it was where we got the handles, walk in, give the stolen handles and the receipt to the clerk, collect the $169.60 and off we go. Not a bad score for about 90 minutes time.
There you go folks. First story I've blasted out in a while. Let's hope I can stay on schedule and keep them coming every Wednesday. If you have anything you want to me to write about let me know, if I did it, I'll have a story about it.
Good luck to everybody in the Mookie tonight. Last chance for a TOC seat.